STRUGGLES.

I have many.

Lately, it seems that's all I have.

I've now been unemployed for 7 months, and my unemployment benefits have run out. I'm now living on funds borrowed from my parents.

Who are retired.

Oh, did I mention I'm nearly 50 years old?

Yeah. Not embarrassing or anything.

Some people take that all in stride, asking for money from their parents. For me, it's practically a life or death decision where it's the very last choice I make out of desperation. I guess the upside is, where I could have asked for money much earlier, I decided to dip into my own savings first, which wasn't much, but it helped stretch things out a little further.

Now my parents want to do a "prayer and fasting" day with me to show God I'm really "serious" about finding a job. I don't know what to think of that. Fasting...do I need to completely not eat all day? Can I fast in some other area - TV, computer, coffee, or drooling at eBay? Maybe doing a carb-free day? (since carbs are what I practically live on) I know it could only be a good thing, but then I think: of all the ways I could squeeze the last drop of money out of--something--to keep me afloat, the one thing that I have continued to do through all this is tithe. I've even sold some of my furniture and an unused espresso machine before I thought about dipping into my tithing funds.

Does tithing not count for anything? I know people who have cashed out their 401Ks for money to live on, something I haven't done (yet...nor do I want to). I'm trying not to view God as this "genie in the sky," and I know there are so many other people who are so much worse off than I am, but then I think I could really use those extra funds, but don't want to touch them!

No one said being a Christian would be simple. Or easy.